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Monday, January 17, 2011

a letter to manmohanji,India's prime minister

Dear Manmohanji
Sasriya kal ji.I hope i am not disturbing you ji,by writing this letter.After all ,you are getting so many letters- and that too from prominent citizens asking you to 'govern'. Huh ! I like their cheek ji. What do they think you have been doing till now? I am fully on your side .People bhi-they expect too much ji. And after all ,what is wrong ? just a few minor issues :CWG ghotala( what ghotala? the games were a spectacular success.It is very churlish to want accountability of a few hundred crores) ;the 2 G scam ( i think it was worth it because of the tapes- so much gossip it provided us-total paisa vasool ;and also to, in any which way, involve you in the 2G thingy when we all know that the only 2 Gs in your orbit are Sonia G and Rahul G- very uncalled for ji ); inflation (i like that other economist you have on your team-Montek-he is so brilliant ,how he linked inflation to prosperity! he obviously believes in the KISS philosophy.Nahi,nahi, manmohanji,don't blush so .It only means-keep it simple stupid ; onions (so much being made of a silly vegetable.)And what do 'they 'mean by expensive? after all now that Montek has certified our prosperity  the junta should just go ahead and buy and buy and by the by' they' will stop finding them expensive.As Shahrukh Khan said in a memorable film" bade bade shehro mein aisi choti choti baatein hoti rehtein hain,senorita".Oh.!senorita brings me to the Italian connection in your life.How is Madam? she is such a considerate  employer.Always tells the media-' everything happening ,and everything not happening, is mamohanji's baby.The party has nothing to do with it'.Purrfect. And talk of the GOP brings me to the party spokesperson,Manish Tiwari. How i like that fellow!his media briefings are such a delight to watch( and hear). He speaks in such a clipped accent( Eton, i bet).The more he has to brief about the scams the more clipped his accent gets.

Before i end, just a question i have been wanting to ask you,and now that we are on letter writing terms i will take the liberty ji of asking.Who kept your name ? and such a lovely name too-Manmohan. I googled out ( google-hindi) the meaning.  It translates to -a person who binds others in his spell. Literally,man ko mohne wala.What a well thought of name!And you have done full justice to it. You have actually cast a spell on us!We are spell bound by your thoughts(seemingly non-existent);deeds(absent); words( meaningless)academic credentials-read as an economist-yet to be unleashed ! Manmohanji, please dont think these are my views(such middle class views at that). Nahi ,yeh toh aam junta ke views hain. Thank God you are comfortably ensconsed in your ivory tower and above such lowly things as the common man's views. Where i am concerned, will forever be grateful to you. Why? because of my slim,trim( some jealous souls are calling it anorexic) look.What all the slimming centres couldn't do, your food inflation has done. I have lost all the flab!Now, every morning i slink to the nearest forest( read park) and forage for edible leaves, flowers and grass and come back and brew my very own herbal tea. I sip this throughout the day and voila! no worry about double chins ( or even single ),no worry about onion/tomato/cauliflower/pulses/sugar,et al prices. Shukriya,shukriya ji.

Please do come to our house.I may not be able to give you coffee ( milk prices have gone up) but will definitely make herbal tea for you.

Warmest regards ji
Anju Gupta

1 comment:

  1. Great ! Now at least MMji knows he has another admirer---the other one being GSK!