Top post on, the community of Indian Bloggers

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Cooking your own Goose- an idiom

Meaning : Cooking  your own goose means creating trouble for yourself. It means that  you do something that spoils your  plans and prevents you  from succeeding

Origin of the Idiom :  The  phrase  was first coined from the martyrdom of a 15th century Czech  reformer, Hus. His name in Czech  means  'goose'. Hus was invited to a papal council to account for some of the things he had been writing that contradicted the Catholic church's teachings. He decided to attend and said jokingly, " the goose is not yet cooked and is not afraid of being cooked".

When Hus reached the meeting he was arrested and sentenced to death by burning. It turned out that his goose was cooked when he accepted the invitation.

Usage: Arvind Kejriwal has cooked his own goose by making a mockery of the people's trust , by not staying within the parameters defined by the Indian Constitution , by holding governance to ransom, and lastly , by losing the respect of a vast number of people.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

10 things Arvind Kejriwal should do immediately


Come on Arvind and Co- we hoped for better from you. Acknowledged that you are the new kids on the block  but that  does not give you license to be 'self proclaimed anarchists'. Once you took on the mantle of governing Delhi , you were supposed to do just that. So now , looking at all the skeletons  hurtling out of your cupboard, I feel you need some good, solid, non quid pro quo advice and I am going ahead and giving just that. Hope you follow the recommended 10 things.

The Rx:

1. Heard of scotch tape ? Please use it asap on each and every member of your party. Yes, issue a diktat that no one, repeat no one , will open his/her mouth in public. In fact, not  even in private - remember deewaron ke bhi kaan.....

2. Sift the wheat from the chaff. You do not have to admit each and every John, Johnny, Janardhan  into your fold. Please ask them,  politely ,of course, the reason for wanting to join. If they so much as murmur  'Lok Sabha ticket' you know what to do. You don't? Tch tch. You have to shut the door on them. The clever ones who don't murmur 'LSt' , please inform  them of  clause 1 ( keeping the mouth shut).

3. Send Prashant Bhushan, Kumar Vishwas, the hon law minister of your government, Capt Gopinath ( Gosh! this is turning out to be a long list), Mallika Sarabhai, Rakhi Birla - you get the gist- on a lonnng, no expenses paid , holiday to Timbucktoo. You want to know why Timbucktoo? Welll, I have always wanted to send somebody to Tim... that is why .

4. Get back to the basics- Govern, govern govern. Granted I have banished two of your ministers but fret not. Believe me you are not going to miss them.

5. Dear CM, do not speak in haste. Did you ever watch a serial called 'Tol Mol ke Bol' ? O.k- I also never did but I want you to get into  that mould - weigh your words carefully.

6. Stop repeating ad nauseum that 'Vipakshi' parties are terrible, that the  Congress and the BJP are corrupt, that you are not siding with any etc etc. It all sounds terribly infra dig- too yesterday. You  are no longer a movement- you have moved on . Please show that you are here to do business ( govern  and administer) and not hurl allegations.

7. Coming to the aforementioned allegations- kindly put your money where your mouth is. That is prove the said allegations- otherwise use the overused scotch tape.

8. There is something called policy formation. Kindly use your time in policy formulation- your economic policy, policy for FDI, for electricity, security, for women safety, for transport. Focus, Focus and some more focus.

9. Ever heard of slow and steady winning the race? Remember the hare really ran fast but didn't reach anywhere.So,  why don't you concentrate on proving your credentials in Delhi ? Right now 3 things show : AAP is spreading itself thin ; that you are a man in a hurry ; and that AAP is turning out to be all hype and no substance.

10. Lastly, ever heard of something called a  peekdaan ? Wait- don't start googling it if you haven't. Will tell you -its what the Lucknawi nawabs used when they wanted to spit. They knew their manners and didn't want to spit all over town and the town folk. Please buy one peekdaan from my side, complimentary of course, for dear Somnath Bharti.  He certainly seems to be needing one.

I had promised to tell you only 10 things and so will keep my word. The 11th comes from someone who read my blog and left a comment. I am adding it on as a freebie.

11. Please quit.

Monday, January 13, 2014

The secret diary of Kumar Vishwas


 I find myself humming ' aaj phir jeene ki tamanna hai, aaj phir marne ka irada hai' as I take off my topi and reverentially hang it over a portrait of Comrade Kejriwal . What an eventful day ! what an eventful day!  A coming of age day for Kumar Vishwas , of  poet Vishwas, of the kumar of AAP. For too long I had been leashed and reined in and only allowed to open my mouth once in twenty four hours- though God knows I tried  my best to utilize each opening by putting my foot in my mouth - very difficult for a person who is used to having his mouth open all the time. Aap ki kasam , if it wasn't for Arvind ji I would have left the party by now and floated my own outfit - Aap ka kavi. But Arvind ji  had  told me in secret that I could stand from any place of my choice and I could not resist such an irresistible  offer of grabbing janta ki attention and announcing my candidature from Amethi. Why Amethi ? Hmmmn. For public consumption the reason that is being trotted out is that dynastic politics has  to come to an end, that Prince Rahul has to be shown the door and more such blah. But, just between you and me, dear diary,  the real reason is that I am not content with being  only  in the desh ki limelight- I want to garner  international attention  also and the only way to do this is to stand from Amethi opposite Rahul . This way I know that,  if nothing else,  I will atleast have Italian and Columbian attention. Another reason , dear diary, a very very secret reason, is that I want to be one up on Prashant Bhushan ji. Bhushan ji and I have this ongoing tussle about who will make  the wackiest public statement. To give the devil his due, Prashant ji does manage to come up with some real eyeball grabbers. Just when we had chanted ad nauseum that we would not take or give support to the BJP he said , and that too on Arnab Goswami's show,  that siding with BJP wasn't such a bad idea.  And then of course, his K bloomer. I think that is what really gave Arvind a coughing fit , and the  poor chap hasn't stopped coughing since then because of Prashant ji and yours truly.

I must tell you what a great time I had in Amethi today. I had at least twenty thousand people at my disposal and   I certainly  wasn't going to let such an opportunity go waste. Nah, not me.  So I spouted poetry to my heart's content, sometimes in Javed Akhtar ishtyle and sometimes in Gulzaar Saheb's. It was  bliss - like going to heaven with Katrina Kaif and coming back to earth  with Huma Qureshi . Bas, now I only have to make sure that Rakhi Birla and the rest of the pack don't steal my thunder by doing something outrageous. That is my prerogative and I will not give it up so easily. I  will now slip into slumberland with delicious images of Prashant ji grinding his teeth in frustration.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Who Am I - a poem

                                                    Bright faces waiting expectantly,
                                                     the teacher clears her throat,
                                                         "today we will do a self inventory,
                                                                   a Who am I "

                                                    "Fifteen minutes you get to think
                                                      of your goal in life, your achievements,
                                                    areas of improvement, your hobbies,
                                                   are you a team player, instances when you
                                                   let others down, when you were let down,
                                                         your strengths, weaknesses."

                                                               The faces bend down
                                                          some thoughtful, others assured
                                                             notepads out, hands start scribbling
                                                          writing the story of their life

                                                 Fifteen minutes  to answer questions
                                       that she  knows cannot be answered by her @ fifty
                                                      goal in life ? meandered
                                                let others down?  so many
                                                      were let down? that's a laugh
                                                strengths? never had time  to think
                                                    weaknesses? let's not count
                                                            Who Am I ?
                                                         still to figure out


Thursday, January 9, 2014

The magic of music

 Ever felt that you are slipping into a depression? or feeling depressive ? Well, I don't know whether I was in a depression or depressive but I do know that the house felt depressingly  quiet - daughter in hostel, son off to school early in the morning and husband - not verbose at the best of times-   in his office.  So while  carrying on with the routine morning chores, I realized that I wasn't  feeling as  happy and carefree as a lark. And then it suddenly came to me- how about some music ? I fiddled with the FM channels- and stopped at one playing a lovely song. It turned out to be 92.7, with Annu Kapoor ( remember him? ) hosting the 10 a.m- 12 noon slot called 'Suhaana Safar'. It has been almost a month since then - my radio is switched on as soon as the husband leaves, and the sound of music fills the house. 

Annu kapoor plays some lovely songs. The icing on the cake is that  he is also a storehouse of anecdotes - and almost each song he plays is prefaced with some nugget of information  about the song. Let me tell you what I have heard this morning :

You must have heard this beautiful number , sung by Kishore Kumar, from the movie Blackmail. I  fell  in love with Dharmendra after watching him sing this song- though of course he was serenading Rakhee.

Pal Pal Dil Ke Paas Tum Rehti Ho
Jeevan Meethi Pyaas Yeh Kehti Ho.....
Har Shaam Aankhon Par Tera Aanchal Lehraye ;
Har Raat Yaadon Ki Baarat Le Aaye
Can anything be more sensous than these lines?
Maein Saans Leta Hoon
Teri Khushboo Aati Hai
Ek Mehka Mehka Sa
Paigaam Laati Hai
Meri Dil Ki Dhadkan Bhi
Tere Geet Gaati Hai
Pal Pal ...
ye kaisa rishta hai
yeh kaise sapne hai
begane hokar bhi
kyu lagte apne hai
main soch main rehta hoon
dar dar ke kehta hun
pal pal...
Next up was a Lata Mangeshkar  classic from the movie ,' Do Aankhen Barah Haath'. When my daughter was young and learning music, the very first song she sang, while playing the harmonium , was this :

ऐ मालिक तेरे बन्दे हम
ऐसे हों हमारे करम
नेकी पर चलें और बदी से टलें
ताकि हंसते हुए निकले दम..
Then Kapoor cleverly changed the  tempo.., bringing on a peppy number from a 1971 movie called ' Caravan' . The song is sung by Lata tai and music is by R.D Burman.  Love this number.
Dilbar, haan dilbar -3
 Dilbar, dil se pyaare, dilbar
 Dol ki sunta jare 
 Sari duniya haari humse, hum tujhpe dil haare
 Dilbar dilse...
 Gehri naino wale, lehri lehri naino wale
 (Gehri gehri naino wale, naino wale
 Lehri lehri naino wale, naino wale) -2
 Dilbar dilse ...

Next was a song from the 1955  Raj Kapoor starrer 'Shree 420'.

Mud Mud Ke Na Dekh Mud Mud Ke - 2
mud Mud Ke Na Dekh Mud Mud Ke - 2
zindagaani Ke Safar Mein Tu Akela Hi Nahi Hain
ham Bhi Tere Hamsafar Hain ....

and  the following lines telling us the truth of life :

duniya Ke Saath Jo Badalta Jaaye
jo Iske Saanche Mein Hi Dhalta Jaaye
duniya Usi Ki Hain Jo Chalta Jaaye
duniya Ke Saath Jo Badalta Jaaye...

After this was Asha Bhonsle's memorable song from Umrao Jaan 

.Justajoo jis kee thee us ko to naa paayaa hum ne
Is bahaane se magar dekh lee duniyaan hum ne.... Kab milee thee, kahaa bichhadee thee, humei yaad nahee Jindagee tuz ko to bas khwaab mein dekhaa hum ne  
and now the poignant: Aye adaa aaur sunaaye bhee to kyaa haal apanaa Umar kaa lanbaa safar, tay kiyaa tanahaa hum ne

With music filling up my house and me, my mornings are
definitely not depressive anymore.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Aam is khaas - the rise of the AAP


When , on  a bright, sunny, winter afternoon of  28th December, 2013, a bespectacled, diminutive man , clad in a nondescript grey pullover and navy blue muffler , took the oath of office as chief minister to the state which is the capital city of the world’s largest democracy, it was indeed a special moment. It was a moment that brought a lump to the throat of every ‘aam aadmi’ , a moment that many  had been hoping  and praying for ,but had all but given up hopes of ever seeing – the rise and rise of a party not built on the lure of a dynasty, not luring voters on caste and religion- a party promising to restore the lost moral fibre of Indian polity, a party for the people and by the people. Yes, AAP is the khaas  flavor of the season .

AAP rose from the simmering discontent of a movement  which  had been sparked off  by an astute  Gandhian. The genesis of the Anna Hazare movement lay in the ruins of  the Congress led government, in the rampant in your face corruption pervading the corridors of power, in the ‘I scratch your back and you scratch mine’ ethos pervading Indian polity, bureaucracy and society. The founder member of AAP ,  Arvind  Kejriwal,  ex IITian, ex Magsaysay award recipient, placed before the people of Delhi a new model of governance  in which R.K Laxman’s common man would be both   the ruler and the ruled. The rise of the new party lies in the fact that its leaders are not closeted in their own ivory towers, separated from the junta by red beacon flashing cars and brawny security guards. Instead the leaders are the junta and the junta is the leader.

 AAP  has   made huge personal assets passé. They have  made  traveling by public transport , wearing a white topi, and  mingling with the aam aadmi look  chic . It believes that rulers  should have no need for wealth or other external rewards , it pledges to  ensure that no one from its ranks  will have any wrong motive for seeking a position of leadership, and those who are chosen to govern will govern solely from a concern to seek the welfare of the people. It has brought about a political  revolution by showing that  rulers and leaders   need to act without expectation and to serve without conditions.

 Yes, I acknowledge that no system is foolproof and no party is perfect. The fledgeling AAP will also make its share of blunders and will give enough  cause for its supporters to blush . The difference is that this newbie party will be the proverbial phoenix rising from the ashes because , even though it may be on the seat of power, it is not after power. The party is governed only by the ambition of weeding out corruption and providing probity in public life.

 To conclude:  just as the first showers bring succour to a  rain  starved land, so has the AAP   brought  a sense of  purpose to  the steps of the people. The  message it has given out is  the same as the one used by the legendary Jai Prakash Narain on an  eventful day in Patna’s  Ramlila Maidan in the  draconian seventies of the original  Mrs G…
              “ Singhasan khali karo ki junta aati hai ”