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Tuesday, December 10, 2013

And here are the' Elections 2013 ' Awards

Well,  politicians, young and old, experienced and inexperienced, honest and corrupt, have all worked hard at winning ( and some at losing ) elections. We , the junta, have had an opportunity to meet them, greet them, look at them and hear them ad nauseum.  This happy fraternising has given us, the junta,  a chance to , ahem, gossip about them. The fruit of this gossip is a  list of awards compiled for different politicians, cutting across party lines. Some lucky ones have found mention in more than one category.    Here, Ladies and Gentlemen , are the 'Elections 2013 '  awards .  So, let's put our hands together for :

Award for the best poker face goes to : Dr. Raman Singh , Chief Minister of Chhattisgarh. Never , even by the twitch of a wayward  muscle,  did he betray any emotion.

Award for the best stony face and  maintainer of a stony silence goes to : Dr ManMohan Singh, Prime Minister of India,  a nation of voluble people.

Award for the sweetest,  most honest, looking politician goes to : Shivraj Singh Chauhan.

Award for changing the face of Delhi politics goes to : Arvind Kejriwal , founder AAP

Award for the maximum number of promises made in a election manifesto  goes to : Arvind Kejriwal of the AAP.

Award for being the best best men to the groom, oops, Prime Minister in waiting: Jyotiraditya  Scindia and Sachin Pilot. 

Award for sporting the longest lasting sindoor and mangalsutra goes to : Smriti Irani of the BJP. ( longest lasting because obviously it is something she forgot to return when she quit the Balaji soaps).

Award for the oldest debutant in politics goes to : Rahul Gandhi , reluctant inheritor of a fabled legacy, the 128 year Grand Old Party.

Award for the brashest  young politician goes to : Kumar Vishwas of the AAP.

Award for the foot in the mouth syndrome goes to : Digvijay Singh alias Diggy Raja.

Award for being  the proudest papa goes to : Digvijay Singh alias Diggy Raja. His son , Jaiwardhan Singh, won in the Madhya Pradesh  assembly elections and so Diggy was smiling even though his party had lost in the Raja's own state.  

Award for the smoothest and most unflappable talker goes to : Yogendra Yadav of the AAP.

Award for the best interjector on the numerous ' Prime Time' debates hosted by the legendary Arnab Goswami goes to : Meenakshi  Lekhi  of the BJP

Award for the strictest shepherd goes to : Rajnath Singh, President BJP. He brought the wayward uns back to the flock.

Award for the best short term sulker and pouter goes to : L.K Advani of the BJP.

Award  for donning many hats over the years : Vasundhara Raje Scindia of the BJP and soon to be CM of Rajasthan.  You  will , ofcourse , want to know about the many hats and so, here goes: erstwhile princess , erstwhile walker of ramps- as in modelling ramps, erstwhile female Emraan Hashmi ( pssst- the famous lip lock with you know who) ,erstwhile, hopefully, madam arrogant , present favorite of the BJP brass, present favorite of the people of Rajasthan, present least favorite of Ashok Gehlot...

Award for having the most number of Q and A sessions in his public rallies goes to : Narendra Modi, BJP'S Prime Ministerial candidate for 2014.

Award for the best red brick wall and green palms  pose goes to : Abhishek Manu Singhvi of the GOP. Well, we do wonder if a certain someone ( remember the tapes...?) has mentioned how dapper AMS looks against that wall. Ahem, ahem.

Award for the best dimples in town goes to : Rahul baba , ofcourse.

Award for being the best Navin Nischol lookalike : Randeep Surjewala, spokesperson GOP.

Award for the most colorful kurta collection goes to : NaMo of the..

Award for the best roller of kurta sleeves goes to : Rahul G.

Award for the crispiest speaker goes to : Arun Jaitley of the BJP.

Award for the Chief Minister most removed from the reality of public opinion goes to : Mrs Shiela Dikshit, erstwhile CM of Delhi.

Award for the most impish smile goes to : Narendra Modi .( Just look at his face when he is on the subject of 'Shehzaada').

And now a special award- this goes to the Indian public for turning out in huge numbers to cast their vote.

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