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Thursday, January 16, 2014

10 things Arvind Kejriwal should do immediately


Come on Arvind and Co- we hoped for better from you. Acknowledged that you are the new kids on the block  but that  does not give you license to be 'self proclaimed anarchists'. Once you took on the mantle of governing Delhi , you were supposed to do just that. So now , looking at all the skeletons  hurtling out of your cupboard, I feel you need some good, solid, non quid pro quo advice and I am going ahead and giving just that. Hope you follow the recommended 10 things.

The Rx:

1. Heard of scotch tape ? Please use it asap on each and every member of your party. Yes, issue a diktat that no one, repeat no one , will open his/her mouth in public. In fact, not  even in private - remember deewaron ke bhi kaan.....

2. Sift the wheat from the chaff. You do not have to admit each and every John, Johnny, Janardhan  into your fold. Please ask them,  politely ,of course, the reason for wanting to join. If they so much as murmur  'Lok Sabha ticket' you know what to do. You don't? Tch tch. You have to shut the door on them. The clever ones who don't murmur 'LSt' , please inform  them of  clause 1 ( keeping the mouth shut).

3. Send Prashant Bhushan, Kumar Vishwas, the hon law minister of your government, Capt Gopinath ( Gosh! this is turning out to be a long list), Mallika Sarabhai, Rakhi Birla - you get the gist- on a lonnng, no expenses paid , holiday to Timbucktoo. You want to know why Timbucktoo? Welll, I have always wanted to send somebody to Tim... that is why .

4. Get back to the basics- Govern, govern govern. Granted I have banished two of your ministers but fret not. Believe me you are not going to miss them.

5. Dear CM, do not speak in haste. Did you ever watch a serial called 'Tol Mol ke Bol' ? O.k- I also never did but I want you to get into  that mould - weigh your words carefully.

6. Stop repeating ad nauseum that 'Vipakshi' parties are terrible, that the  Congress and the BJP are corrupt, that you are not siding with any etc etc. It all sounds terribly infra dig- too yesterday. You  are no longer a movement- you have moved on . Please show that you are here to do business ( govern  and administer) and not hurl allegations.

7. Coming to the aforementioned allegations- kindly put your money where your mouth is. That is prove the said allegations- otherwise use the overused scotch tape.

8. There is something called policy formation. Kindly use your time in policy formulation- your economic policy, policy for FDI, for electricity, security, for women safety, for transport. Focus, Focus and some more focus.

9. Ever heard of slow and steady winning the race? Remember the hare really ran fast but didn't reach anywhere.So,  why don't you concentrate on proving your credentials in Delhi ? Right now 3 things show : AAP is spreading itself thin ; that you are a man in a hurry ; and that AAP is turning out to be all hype and no substance.

10. Lastly, ever heard of something called a  peekdaan ? Wait- don't start googling it if you haven't. Will tell you -its what the Lucknawi nawabs used when they wanted to spit. They knew their manners and didn't want to spit all over town and the town folk. Please buy one peekdaan from my side, complimentary of course, for dear Somnath Bharti.  He certainly seems to be needing one.

I had promised to tell you only 10 things and so will keep my word. The 11th comes from someone who read my blog and left a comment. I am adding it on as a freebie.

11. Please quit.


  1. Nice thought put into words.

    Good one !!

    u really need to heard by them (AAP)

  2. These are very good points and pretty funny :P

    1. Hope Arvind Kejriwal also reads them and finds them good! :)

  3. Nice post, If possible he would have definitely send them to a paid vacation like the ministers from UP and karnataka have gone to ;) :)

  4. He does need to exercise such caution. Admitting all into the party is not too good.
    Very well presented Anju.

    1. Thanks Indrani- and thanks for reading the blog !

  5. Hi Anju Ji,now today i could read your post.Thank god.As a well wisher of change Mr.Kejriwal wants to bring in,your suggestions are sound guidelines.Mr.Kejriwal must act on it.His ministers and other ones must restrain themselves while reacting.Let people,whom he so confided in before forming Govt., draw conclusions on events.

    1. Thanks Vijai for reading my blog , and for the comment. ;)

  6. Please see MJ Akbar's article in Sunday Guardian wherein he likens Kejriwal to Raj Nairain. After the chaos he and his cabinet have created for the past 2 days, I feel he is a Rajnarai and the 11th thing he should do is to quit.

  7. i totally agree with you - AAP has turned out to be an embarrassment !