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Monday, January 13, 2014

The secret diary of Kumar Vishwas


 I find myself humming ' aaj phir jeene ki tamanna hai, aaj phir marne ka irada hai' as I take off my topi and reverentially hang it over a portrait of Comrade Kejriwal . What an eventful day ! what an eventful day!  A coming of age day for Kumar Vishwas , of  poet Vishwas, of the kumar of AAP. For too long I had been leashed and reined in and only allowed to open my mouth once in twenty four hours- though God knows I tried  my best to utilize each opening by putting my foot in my mouth - very difficult for a person who is used to having his mouth open all the time. Aap ki kasam , if it wasn't for Arvind ji I would have left the party by now and floated my own outfit - Aap ka kavi. But Arvind ji  had  told me in secret that I could stand from any place of my choice and I could not resist such an irresistible  offer of grabbing janta ki attention and announcing my candidature from Amethi. Why Amethi ? Hmmmn. For public consumption the reason that is being trotted out is that dynastic politics has  to come to an end, that Prince Rahul has to be shown the door and more such blah. But, just between you and me, dear diary,  the real reason is that I am not content with being  only  in the desh ki limelight- I want to garner  international attention  also and the only way to do this is to stand from Amethi opposite Rahul . This way I know that,  if nothing else,  I will atleast have Italian and Columbian attention. Another reason , dear diary, a very very secret reason, is that I want to be one up on Prashant Bhushan ji. Bhushan ji and I have this ongoing tussle about who will make  the wackiest public statement. To give the devil his due, Prashant ji does manage to come up with some real eyeball grabbers. Just when we had chanted ad nauseum that we would not take or give support to the BJP he said , and that too on Arnab Goswami's show,  that siding with BJP wasn't such a bad idea.  And then of course, his K bloomer. I think that is what really gave Arvind a coughing fit , and the  poor chap hasn't stopped coughing since then because of Prashant ji and yours truly.

I must tell you what a great time I had in Amethi today. I had at least twenty thousand people at my disposal and   I certainly  wasn't going to let such an opportunity go waste. Nah, not me.  So I spouted poetry to my heart's content, sometimes in Javed Akhtar ishtyle and sometimes in Gulzaar Saheb's. It was  bliss - like going to heaven with Katrina Kaif and coming back to earth  with Huma Qureshi . Bas, now I only have to make sure that Rakhi Birla and the rest of the pack don't steal my thunder by doing something outrageous. That is my prerogative and I will not give it up so easily. I  will now slip into slumberland with delicious images of Prashant ji grinding his teeth in frustration.

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