ctrl alt delete

I look approvingly , first at the magazine handed to me, and then at  the 'magazine guy' . Twenty six days a month he supplies us with our fix of weeklies, fortnightlies and monthlies. I love all of them because there is something 'interesting' ( read gossipy) in all. Even the high brow weeklies bend low enough to give readers like me a last page with its 'what's hot and what's not' type of features. Though, mind you, I go about my reading in a very intelligent manner. So, when, after dinner is over,  the husband and I are catching up on news and other sundries like Modi, and Circle rates and inflation ,I make sure I have read enough to make intelligent sounds at the right places and sometimes enough to even  throw some light on why and how  A.K Antony only dozed his way through his 10 years of scurrilous defence deals and why the BJP M.P from Unnao should be told to keep his lips tightly shut.

Anyways, coming back to the magazine in my hand- it's one of my favorites.It has a horoscope page  , a short story section, a recipe page with immensely exotic looking dishes, a two page feature showing the bad hair days and enough worse dress days of celebrities , a travel section and then features like : how to clean up your wardrobe in 10 minutes flat, how to teach your children impeccable table manners, how to make the maid a part of the family, how to keep your plants fresh and watered when you are away holidaying in Honolulu....

I sit myself down with a pleasurable sigh and open the magazine. The horoscope is the first stop- it gives me  my feel good fix. Whoever writes it is obviously a kind contented soul as he/she  always writes kind things for all the 12 signs. Next is the recipe page - gluten free muffins with lime icing-  I promise myself that 'someday' I will churn out batches of the lovely looking muffins. Now is a longish stop at the bad hair and dress day of  our film industry celebrities. I look sympathetically at the actors. If they could see me they would know how much I , someone with a perpetual bad hair day and an, almost perpetual , bad dress day, empathized with them. How could Kareena have  known  that blood red lip color would make her look like a thirsty vampire lusting for,what else, blood?

I turn the page and find myself at  the first of the 'how to's'. This one seems interesting. It is: how to clean up your phone contact list. A quick glance gives one the gist- don't hang on to contacts who have vanished from your life. De clutter the contact list , and your life, by deleting obsolete contacts. I glance at the  phone lying next to me . Should I ? A voice  urges- 'yes ,do it -do something instead of  just reading the how to's month after month after month'. Goaded by the tinge of sarcasm in the voice I pick up the phone and scroll down my contact list.  Ajit - cousin from Saharanpur. Should certainly be deleted. We must have  last spoken   about 15 years back.I am on the verge of deleting but then stop. He is my  last contact  point with papa's hometown and family. Nah- I can't do it. I move on to the B's. Bikram - locksmith. I had taken his number the day he had been frantically summoned because the daughter, while playing 'I spy' with friends had hidden herself in her loo and the lock had played up. Yes, Bikram can go. The children were now all 'growed up' and knew how to close doors and open complicated locks. But, again I stop.I cannot do it. He is my camera to a tense and funny quintessential childhood moment.

I move on. Shanti ,the maid? Best to keep her number- might need it sometime. Neha- couldn't even remember when we had  last  hung out together. But we had some fun times together and for the sake of those good times... An hour later I am through. With the magazine that is. The phone is still next to me. All contacts intact.